Here are some suggestions to maintain intimacy with your spouse without having sex during postpartum or any other time where you're unable to have sex.
There are a few reasons a married couple might not be able to have sex, whether you just had a baby, are experiencing an deep illness, or some other reason these are some really good ideas to help maintain physical intimacy in your marriage during a season of sexual separation. I hope you are encouraged by this post to continue to grow and prioritize your marriage even when it might seem difficult.
I am writing this primarily with the Postpartum experience in mind, but I think this could be helpful for people in a variety of other situations too.
1) Pray together
Take a few minutes to pay with each other if you're newly postpartum there is plenty to pray for, health for your child, smooth transition for your growing family, healing for Mom, grace for each other in this trying time, restful sleep, financial provision, the list could go on but taking time to inquire of the Lord together and talk to Him as one of a wonderful way to build intimacy together. To make this more physical you can hold hands and/or put your foreheads together too.
2) 15 second kiss
This is something I read in a devotional one time that my husband and I did together called a wife in pursuit (the husband copy was called a husband in pursuit and I linked them below) and it's a really cute and nonsexual way to help maintain intimacy. You literally hold 1 single kiss with your spouse for 15 whole seconds, don't speed through it make them long seconds you won't be disappointed when it's over infact it might lead to a few more kisses or even a little make out session.
3) Make out session
Speaking of which that's a good way to maintain intimacy too, make out a little with your spouse, this is fun and flirty and will give you those butterfly feelings like when you were first dating again.
4) Staring contest
Look into each other's eyes, face, everything just look at each other and really see one another, this is something we often forget to do and it's really important in growing intimacy with your spouse.
5) Snuggle
Put on a show or movie, read a Bible passage or book together and cuddle up together on the couch or even some relaxing music in the background and just be together. This is perfect for fall and winter as well, you can grab a snack and a big glass of water or your favorite hot drink (raspberry leaf tea is great for postpartum, it will help with contracting your uterus back down and rebalancing your hormones and who doesn't need help with that right after having a baby) and cuddle up together under a blanket.
5) Skin to skin
This is very important for Mom to do with her newborn but I think it could also be a great way to bond with your spouse so why not have everyone take their shirt off and get some snuggles in it will be beneficial for everybody. There are a lot of benefits to this including but not limited to temperature regulation, heart beat regulating, stress relieving and more, all of which are very good for both newborns and new parents alike.
6) Shower or bathe together
If your post partum you will be looking for any opportunity you can get to shower so put the baby in a swing, bouncer, pack'n'play or there bassinet, somewhere safe and take a shower together. If you have older children you can do this during their nap or after they are in bed for the night.
7) Give each other massages
Weather this is a back rub, hand and arm massage, foot and calf massage or full body message (which might be nice for Mom if she has cloggeg milk ducts postpartum), taking some time to feel each other and relieve some stress from the muscles is a great way to build intimacy.
8) Wash each other's hair
This is a great act of service for one another and as a cosmetologist I think this is a really relaxing thing as well, get in there and give rather a nice scalp massage with the soap I promise it feels amazing.
9) Wash each other's feet
This is a really beautiful act of service to one another as well and especially for a postpartum mom, also feel free to massage them a little too. If Jesus did it you can too.
10) Hold hands
This is such a cute and simply way to stay connected with each other when sex is off the table, do it while you eat dinner, cuddle on the couch or just for a few moments while you stare into each other's eyes. You could also do this on a walk together (just keep it short of you're postpartum since you're still healing).
11) Touch each other
Hug, touch each other's arms, touch each other's backs, run your fingers though his hair, carresse one another's faces, just be intentional to feel each other in a nonsexual way.
I hope these ideas inspired you to love and pursue you spouse in a new way and helped you if you're looking to stay connected in a time when sex is not an option.
Add comment
Comments