Dating can often get forgotten once you get married or become very difficult ones you have children, and most couples will experience a season (or possible multiple) where they feel like they have "lost the spark." Dating and continuing to pursue your spouse is so important to the health of your marriage and your whole family so it's important to pursue times with them dispute these challenges. I have learned that it's about choosing connection with your spouse even when everything else seems to be calling for your attention because a healthy marriage makes a healthy family and both those things are eternal which is far more important than a clean house. My husband and I have recently had the opportunity to do somethings that have really brought back some of those dating butterflies and I wanted to share them with you if you're feeling stuck in a bit of a rut. Maybe you can give one or a couple a try this valentines day/weekend.
~ Have an all-day date or an overnight.
Hear me out, I know some of you are thinking I have kids I can't do that. I have a 2-year-old and a 4-month-old, and we were able to do this, a few times and I am telling you it is amazing. The first one we did before out second was born, my mom came and watched my toddler while my husband and I spent the night tent camping at our church and then we spent the next day going to farmers markets, shooting at our church, and picking wildflowers. The second one we did we brought both our girls to my mom's, I sent pumped breast milk, and then we had a couple hours to ourselves before going on a double date ice skating and dinner with a friend and her boyfriend. The third one my husband had a work Christmas party where they got a box for a Buffalo sabers hockey game, my mom and grandmother also graciously watched our girls for that too. In the future we plan to do 1 date like this a quarter because it has made such a huge difference for us to have that time alone to remember that we are still flirty lovers not just parents.
~ Have sex before your date.
Some of y'all will blush at this but I'm telling you it makes the date so much sweeter and also then you can't say you're too tired afterward. Coming together to celebrate your marriage covenant before you go out will give you those feelings romance and add flirty hormones flooding through your body and you won't be able to take your eyes off your spouse. You'll be staring at him with heart eyes all night, wanting to hold hands and just do those cutsy couple things you always see in the movies.
~Dress up.
Do your hair, makeup, wear something nice like a special dress, or even something a little sexy like you might have before you married. Get flirtatious and fun with it. Break out your favorite perfume, shave your legs, paint your nails. Just have fun with it getting all dolled up. This is where I think setting aside a whole day can be really helpful because you can check all these boxes and not have to worry about the kids needing you while you get ready.
~Pick something new
All three of those dates were things we don't do regularly. They are a little more fun than just dinner or board games in our living room which made it a little more exciting. Try something you don't do all the time it will give some variety and a little more exciting looking forward to the date.
I hope these tips are helpful this Valentine's season.
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