The Gift of Motherhood

I don't think this is saying having children will save you but rather women who have children will be grown in ways that will bring them closer to the image of Christ. These are some areas I personally have experienced this growth although I am far from perfect in any of them, but I have seen change in big ways and I believe many other moms have too, especially if we allow the work or the Holy Spirit in our lives.

1) Patience

This is more than just waiting for things for me. When you have small children who are learning new skills you learn to be patient with them as they figure out how to do certain tasks. I have notice that many children and so far, especially mine enjoy helping me, this also requires patients because inevitably the job will get done much slower if you let them help but it is important to do that because not only does it teach them something but if lets them know that they are important, capable of being helpful and contributing something positive to the family, as wells as accepted as a part of the family unity giving them more confidence in who they are. When you tell your toddler go away I am trying to work on this thing, make dinner, fold laundry etc. you are telling them they are an annoyance to you and just get in the way but when you welcome them to help you, you let them know you value them as a person and that although their help may be imperfect that you appreciate their company and effort. This is not just valuable to them though I have learned through letting my toddler help to slow down, be patient, and embrace the moment more, I'm not so busy trying to rush into the next thing that I don't enjoy the right now. This has helped me to also better prioritize my relationships in life. I heard another mother tell her child that patience means being happy while you wait, and I thought that was a beautiful picture and simply explanation for a small child but also for us moms. We have 2 options when our children are learning and wear waiting, we can be happy and encourage them or we can complain and belittle them, I feel like I am leaning to do the first.

2) The art of serving

I serve all day every day that is just the job of a mom. When you have little kids, you spend the whole day feeding them, changing diapers, helping them use the potty, cleaning up toys and messes, preparing meals and these are just the mom related tasks let alone the home making tasks too like dishes, laundry, cleaning etc. When you have bigger kids, the tasks change to helping with homework and driving them around to activities. When you have babies, these tasks often roll over into much the night as well. The roll of a mom has you in a constant servant state much like Jesus was. Serving is such a valuable character trait and I have had many opportunities to bless others through it, I knew how to serve others before I stepped into motherhood but not in any way to the extent that I do now. We are supposed to become more like Christ and Mark 10:45 says, "For the Son of man did not come to be served but to serve."

3) Selflessness

I often find myself holding off on doing or being something for me because I know our daughters want or need something too. Probably one of my most common examples of this would be holding off on using the bathroom because they need to eat or use the bathroom, mom's also typically leave things they want to do for nap time or bedtime because they can't do certain things with their children around we put our needs second to that of our children on a regular basis because that is simply just the role of a mom. we see in Ephesians 4:22-24 that we need to put off the old man that is the ways to the flesh and put on the new man which is of the spirit. Romans 8:6-11 tells us that the spirit gives life, peace, and righteousness, we want to life like Jesus, a righteous life we do that by putting of self and putting on the Spirit to life righteously and one of the ways we can exercise that is through the gift of children. 

4) Self-control

There are many moments that I have faced as a mom where I have felt the urge to use physical force on one of my kids, I think that is probably normal,  one common one in our house is my baby is already screaming and my toddler runs up to her and just whacks her with a hard toy, sitting right there I frequently have a strong inclination to want to roughly shover my toddler away and not really care much if she falls over. Having self-control is being putting my toddler in a safe place until I calm the baby and then talk to Jael about why that was mean, and she shouldn't have done that. I don't know it I would have been in a situation where self-control was needed like this without being a mom.

5) A controlled tongue

This one was probably the hardest for me and I am still working on it many times, but it was one that God started working on in me right after my second was born, I felt like the hulk all the time, I wanted to shout at everyone constantly, my toddler could sense it, add that to all the change and her getting to the big emotions age she was starting to have more frequent melt downs. I could tell me yelling at her didn't solve anything and I was tired of just telling her that freaking out was wrong, I wanted to tell her how to respond right. This is where I started to tell her, "When you get frustrated you need to take a deep breath and if that still doesn't work then you need to walk away", even at 20 months this worked for her and now after turning 2 I will catch her just randomly taking a deep breath. I decided to take notes from what I was teaching her and apply it to myself, not when I'm and starting to feel really overwhelmed and frustrated I pause, take a deep breath, and often say a small three-word prayer, "God Help Me!" I would have never learned this had I not had my girls because it was through teaching it that I learned.

6) Sacrifice

There are many times where I have had to say no to something I wanted to do or wrap it up earlier that I wanted to because I am a mom and I have little ones with nap and bedtimes I need to work around. I think there are things that all of us have to choose between and we all make sacrifices but form a mom I think it can seem harder because you are often not choosing between which thing you want more but rather what you want and what your children need, you often sacrifice what you want because you care about the ones you love. This is an important lesson to learn because there are many things, we want that God will as us to give up because it is what we need. God wants what is best for us and we can learn the hard lesson of letting go of things that seem important to us or saying no some something that may even be good trusting that God know what is best for us.

Through the gift of being a mother, God has refined areas of my life to develop in me good Godly character. Many if not all of these characteristics I likely would not have "needed" to develop had it not been for my children. God uses the gift of children to develop parents into more clear reflections of who He is. I am so grateful for these girls and the growth I have because God gave them to me, I would not be the woman I am today without them. I still have a long way to go in the refining process, but it brings me joy to know I am not where I was and the I am this much closer to where God wants me to be.