Can birth control affect attraction?

How does birth control work?

Birth control primarily works by tricking your hormones into thinking you are in a constant state of pregnancy through using synthetic progesterone hormones. This also prevents your body from ovulating and thus should prevent you from becoming pregnant when you don't want to be, (for a more detailed explanation read this post How does birth control work and is it a sin to use it? Also Subscribe here for more posts in the future on this subject). There are a few ways this can affect your attraction to men and surprisingly their attraction to us.

How does it affect my attraction to men?

Studies have shown that when a woman is not on hormonal birth control, she is frequently more attracted to more masculine features such as a deeper voice and masculine appearance whereas women who were on synthetic hormones were more attracted to more caring and feminine men. It is believed that this is because when a woman is pregnant, she seeks the care and comfort of her female relatives to help her prepare to care for the child and to help take care of her. So, theoretically, a woman who is on birth control is subconsciously looking for a motherly figure to care for her while she is "pregnant" as opposed to a strong masculine man who will fulfill the role of a strong brave protector.

Another reason women might have different preferences is because when she is ovulating, a woman is the most confident and has the highest sex drive in her cycle in turn making her feel more sexy and attractive and more likely to "go for" a more attractive man. Women might be more likely to "settle" for a "less attractive" man when on birth control and instead go for other qualities like making a lot of money. This is due to the mid-cycle estrogen spike that happens around ovulation that is being prevented while on birth control.

The studies also showed that women were less likely to perform "mate guarding" behavior after coming off birth and were often so unsatisfied with their marriage that they were the ones to initiate a divorce if it happened. They also showed that women were no longer interested in protecting their relationship but would instead jeopardize it by showing interest in other men.

How does birth control affect a man's attraction to women?

Birth control can also affect a man's attraction to women who are on it because it blocks the natural pheromones that are released that help attract men to women, of course, attraction in humans has a lot more elements than just hormones and pheromones but they do play a rather large roll. A study was done on monkeys that showed the male monkey would rather be alone than with a female monkey that had been given the Depo shot and another study showed that male monkeys that mated with female monkeys who were on hormonal contraceptives didn't ejaculate in the females because the birth control signaled to the male that the female was "reproductively dead".

I think these are interesting studies to take note of because they show us that hormonal birth control affects way more than a woman's ability to ovulate. It changes her brain and scent making her feel less attractive and appear less attractive to males. It also causes her to seek a more feminine and nurturing partner; may we speculate that this might be related to the rise in homosexual relationships? I think that might be a valid theory.

What does this have to do with God's design?

I think it is safe to say this is why God intended marriage to not just be for companionship between 1 man and 1 woman but also for procreation and for a married couple to be open to God's plan for life. He never intended for us to use chemical hormones to disrupt our body's natural processes for the sake of control and predictability. I think we can also see how this has led to higher levels of homosexual relationships because of women being more attracted to feminine features from the synthetic hormones in their bodies and men no longer having attraction toward women on birth control. I believe that birth control is far more dangerous than any of us realize, and we are now seeing the effects of its widespread use in our society.

My story

Don't worry if you have found yourself in this situation though, there is hope. When my husband and I were engaged I started the pill, I didn't feel like it affected my attraction to him however when I came off of it after we had been married for about a year, I found myself struggling with being attracted to another guy who was in my class in college. I didn't tell my husband (or anyone for that matter) about it until writing this post because I didn't realize it was connected to my having been on the pill. It was very frustrating and confusing for me because I knew I wanted to be with my husband and that I loved him, but I felt a strong pull towards this guy emotionally. We were friends before I got off the pill, but I was finding myself wanting to sit next to him in class all the time, he was one of the people I wanted to hang out with more frequently, and I would also look forward to having him when I saw him. I am so grateful he was a godly man who respected that I was married because it never went any farther than that, so God protected my marriage in that way. Eventually, the feelings began to change I think it may have been when he started a relationship with another sweet girl and then I became pregnant with our precious daughter Jael. I believe God honored my marriage because ultimately even though I was struggling I still chose my husband, and you can do that too.